So the New Year has started out with sadness and death. To some it may seem silly or stupid to grieve the passing of a pet but that is their opinion. On the 3rd of Jan my cat Loki was killed by two dogs in our backyard and I am heartbroken and angry.
If this is any indication of what the New year holds for me I want a do over now. I just seem now to be holding my breath and waiting for the other shoe to fall and I thought I was so over having those feelings but it would seem I was mistaken.
Sometimes it feels as if all true happiness will always pass me by and all those around me are living and I am existing. For what I have to wonder? It seems I walk in the shadow of all others. I have time for everyone and yet they seldom go out of their way to make time for me. What was a put here for? It seems to be to serve others and that is not always bad. However sometimes I would like someone to take the initiative and serve me to be there when I need them and not wait until it is convenient for them to do so.
I know they have lives, spouses, children, and other obligations but does it really hurt so much to go out of the way for me now and then? It is like this with friends and family. I call them, they seldom if ever call me. I e-mail them they seldom if ever e-mail me why is this so hard? Am I so unimportant to all those in my life? If I am why do they keep me around? The answer is simple I have been and will be there when they call me, or need me.
Yes I know that makes it partly my own fault but the simple truth is no one can go through life without people around them and I love them.
