Why?

Why is it when you ask someone to help you with something they have to turn around and make you feel like a piece of shit because they said yes. Why can't people just be honest and say no it might sting but at least they were honest.

I hate being made to feel like an ass because I ask them to do what they said they would. I hate crying because they get pissed at me because they said yes. I hate feeling like the jerk for expecting them to stick to their word.

They do not have to worry I will finish this on my own I refuse to feel this way again I would rather fail.

Why?

This little box I am in the process of painting tomorrow it will have the kanji symbol for tiger painted on the front by my roommate. So early I showed the box to his wife and the first words out of her mouth was "That looks horrendous!" It pissed me off I mean fine if she does not like it but horrendous? Really?

Now I can take being criticized as an artist you have to but I mean to just out and out say it looks horrendous to me was just plain rude and down right mean. The only other thing she said was she did not like the gold dry brushed over the black. That black and gold do not go together. I was taken back by that and I guess someone better talk to every ancient Chinese, Japanese, etc artist because they used gold on black often.

So opinions please...and remember it is not quite done.

Frustration...

How do you get someone to see the things that they do that at times makes them unbearable to be around? That is my million dollar question in the wee hours of the morning. You see I have this friend and she can be sweet, kind, loving, and really fun to be with ... well that is until her other side comes crawling out and it is happening more and more.

She can be so rude and crass, vain and so literally stuck on herself that is nauseating, and a multitude of other very unattractive things. Yet when anyone calls her on these things she will either blatantly deny them (no matter if you have proof or not), or she will make excuses for the behavior and blame it on someone else altogether. So really how do you get through such pig headedness?

It Has Been Awhile...

Sometimes life just gets busy and other times I just get lazy. Some relationships have changed in my life which has kept me speechless for awhile not knowing what to say about them.

My daughter is no longer a part of my life and this of course is by her choice for reasons that I do not understand at all. She seems to believe that she had a horrible childhood and no one in the family agrees with that but there you have it. My son had anger issues over my leaving the area to move to another state but he has come to terms at least to some degree.

On a happier note I went again to A-kon in Dallas Texas with my friend again this year and we had a blast as always. For those that do not know A-kon is an anime convention and anime is Japanese animation mostly aimed at adults, and young adults.

My sister seems to finally be moving on in life she has found a man that seems quite in love with her and treats her well and I am very happy for her. People ask me why I don't look for someone again and well frankly it is something I no longer want at least not bad enough to risk being hurt again.

I am still in college into my second year now and it is amazing to think that I have come this far even after having a stroke. I do plan on going for another degree after this one but in what I am not sure. Maybe photography so that I can become even better at that.