My Uncle Joe I wish I had a picture of him to show you. But sadly he passed away when I was still pretty young. He was my refuge as a child he showed me that not all men are mean and hateful. He would hold me on his lap and comfort me while my parents fought with each other. He showed me the wonders of nature.
I always knew that I could go to him no matter what and he would do his best to fix it. I remember one summer day we were at his camp. I had been playing down by the creek and I ran up all excited and went to sit on my dads lap. My dad shoved me off his lap and told me I was too damn big to sit on his lap (I was 7 years old). My uncle Joe picked me up, dusted me off, dried my tears and told me i would never be too big to sit on his lap. He was the dad i wanted.
I have through out my life tried to practice his kindness and compassion.
The second person in my life is my friend Sonia. Although her influence hasn't always been as positive. I met her through my friend Spoof and though I love her and she will always be my friend I have to hold back with her. She has infuenced my level of comfort in a close female friend.
I use to feel I could tell her anything in confidence but soon found otherwise when she told her husband who in turn the person I didn't want to know. She has also shown me that there are many motives why a friend would be helpful to another. You see I have always that helping others should come from the heart and that you should never expect to be paid back. If you expect payment then it is not kindness it is business. I believe that if you are kind for the right reasons then that kindness will be returned too you.
She has helped me twice in very big ways but I will never allow her too again. It was so much the monetary payment that bothered me because once on my feet I did my best to help out. No it was her attitude that I owed her big time. She lied too me on more than one occasion and at times treated me pretty bad. She even told me once that she helped me only because it was the right Christian thing to do. I don't think God intended it to be that way I think he meant you should do it from the heart because you feel compassion, and because you care. If the care isn't there then it to me it is no good. If you make the person feel horrible because you are helping them then it means even less.
She has gotten upset because I help my friend Spoof and his wife out far more than I did her. She still doesn't get it though that in this life you get what you give. My friend and his wife have taken me into their home, into their family, and into their hearts. They haven't once made me feel like a burden, or that I am in their way.
What my friend Sonia failed to understand is that it is hard to live somewhere you feel you aren't wanted. That was the purpose of me moving 1000 miles from home was to get away from a life like that.
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